From the dusty notebook #1: I finally got the answer

February 17, 2011

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to want. I know I want you. I know I want the 59 months and 59 months more. But I know I want me too – me not depending on you, me doing fine with or without you. So how do I do this? How do I love you while loving me too?

It surprises me how confused I was back then, and how I’m so not anymore. I read this and I can’t help but be proud of myself. At some point between then and now, I grew up.

See, what I’ve learned is, if you have to ask yourself that kind of question in the first place, chances are it isn’t the love that’s meant for you.

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