From the dusty notebook #4: No longer for your convenience

November 23, 2011

It’s not really hoping for things to get better.

It’s more of hoping for things to be different.

I remember writing this. This was months after the relationship ended and we wanted to be the couple that remained best friends even after breaking up. It was nice. The only problem was we had moments when we acted like we were still together. I remember feeling happy during those moments, then feeling strangely empty after the moments passed.

On the day I wrote this, we had an argument after having one of those moments. I was rather pissed at you for forgetting to show up when we planned to have lunch together and you demanded why I was like that when you thought things were so good between us.

It wasn’t good between us.

It was convenient. For you, mostly.

And I’m never going to degrade myself like that anymore.

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