Why do you believe in God?

My sister asked me this question a few days ago. I was studying for school when, out of nowhere, she turned to me and asked me why I believe in God. I gave her my answer and proceeded to finish my homework. For some reason though, I couldn’t seem to get that question off my mind. I think it’s because I was too caught up with what I was doing to take the question seriously.

Earlier, I felt the need to just sit down and reflect on that question. I did not think about it. Thinking requires intellect, and one of the most significant things I’ve learned so far in my spiritual life is that your intellect is probably the last thing you want to be using when approaching your relationship with God. Thinking about it will most probably result in coming up with the right answer, the problem is the right answer may not always be your answer.

So I sat down, took out a sheet of paper, stared at it for awhile then started writing whatever it was I felt.

Why do I believe in You? I believe in You because I’ve felt You and Your presence in me and in my life. I believe in You because I didn’t just receive an answered prayer, I’ve literally felt You answer my prayer – not coincidence or fate or my own actions – You. I believe in You because You’re the only one I can truly believe in – the kind of belief that gives me hope. I believe in You because I see Your hand work in the lives of my grandparents and in my family. I believe in You because it was only when I wanted to that I felt this peace inside me. 

This is why I believe in God.

For a long time, I was trying to think of a logical reason for my faith because I wanted to give this groundbreaking answer to anyone who would challenge my belief in God. I’m going to be honest with you, I couldn’t think of any. And I was terrified of the possibility that because of it, I was going to have doubts. And I did, for awhile.

Then a year ago I went through a very painful experience and it was something I did not have any control over. It wasn’t momentous or life-threatening or whatever. I’m pretty sure it’s the kind of experience that everyone is bound to go through in life but it hit me more than I expected it would. So I prayed. I went to the bathroom and prayed. And I’m telling you, the moment I finished praying, this calm just washed over me and the weight in my chest disappeared.

I realized then that logic doesn’t have anything to do with it. I mean, from the human nature’s point of view, prayer is probably the least logical thing to do. When you’re in an unpleasant situation, the first thing your brain automatically tells you is what you can do to solve it, not to talk to someone who you can’t even see or hear. I’ve had an atheist tell me before that the whole thing was psychological. It’s not. I’m a pretty logical person (I have the scores to prove it) and I can tell you with all the confidence in the world that it wasn’t just my mind making me feel what I want to feel. It was something bigger than me, something deeper and unfathomable.

For those of you who don’t believe in God, I’m sure I sound totally stupid and foolish. I can understand. I have been annoyed at people who would share about their experiences with God a bit too enthusiastically or forcefully for my taste that I thought they were either, one, making it all up; two, sensationalizing it; or three, just really really annoying people. That is, until I experienced God firsthand. So if you’re in the same position I was before, I can more or less see where you’re coming from. All I ask though is that you try. Try to talk to Him, really talk to Him and maybe He’ll work in you the same way He did to me. You don’t have anything to lose if you decide to go ahead and do it. The worst that could happen is that you’ll look crazy, but then again we all do crazy things so you might as well go all in, right? I believe in God. I’m not ordering you to believe in Him too, all I’m saying is it wouldn’t hurt to consider the possibility that you can.

And for those of you who do believe in God, I ask you the same question that I really think is way heavier than it sounds. Why do you believe in God?