So 2012 is ending. The world, to the Mayans’ disappointment, is not. Buffy Summers probably had something to do with it. (I sincerely hope at least one person gets my reference. Please.)
And while this year is undoubtedly one of the best years of my life, I can’t help but be optimistic that 2013 will be even better. The fact that there aren’t any reports of an impending apocalypse next year, not that I know of anyway, is even more reason to be hopeful… I’m kidding. Hope is in the future, boys and girls, regardless of any predictions or prophecies of an apocalypse or Armageddon. Honestly, if there is anything about the future that I should be intimidated by, it’s the looming fateful crossroad up ahead called Graduation.
Before the year ends though, before any year ends, actually, it’s always nice to take a moment to remember the experiences and everything else that mattered. One of my greatest fears is forgetting the things that are important to me so I’ve always made it a point to write down everything and anything that comes to my mind and my heart, hence the blog name Scribbles.
2012 has been a wonderful year for me. I learned so much this year, more than I ever thought I could. Out of all the things I got, these, to me, are the most important ones:
- Love is a wonderful thing, and that self-love is just as wonderful, if not more. After 10 months, I finally and completely moved on from and let go of my ex-boyfriend and our 5-year relationship. I don’t want to be the type of girl who rambles on and on about her love life or lack thereof because it really isn’t the main priority in my life right now. But this – moving on and letting go – is definitely the highlight of my year. When you’re with someone for 5 years and then you’re suddenly not, you tend to think you’re never going to get over it. People would sometimes choose to get stuck in the hurt because it’s familiar rather than move forward to something that isn’t. Sometimes it’s easier to keep loving someone who isn’t really worth it than to start loving and prioritizing ourselves. But this year taught me the most important lesson I’ve learned thus far: we are so worth our own love.
- I’ve learned to value the relationship that I used to always take for granted. We’ve had a very rocky relationship, my mom and I. It started in 5th grade when I caught my mom reading the messages on my phone. After that happened, I stopped telling her anything anymore so naturally our relationship didn’t exactly blossom. And a lot of the decisions I’ve made in my life didn’t help any either. If you’ve taken the time to read my “About” page (and I wouldn’t blame you if you haven’t), you’ve probably read this: “I am a Christian. I struggle sometimes, but I try.” Well, back then, I struggled a lot and I don’t recall every trying to be better. It got pretty bad, I’ll leave it at that. So you can see why my relationship with my mom got worse as I got older. This year is different, though. One of the better things that came out of the break-up is that I had the perfect opportunity to mend my relationship with my mother. And we are now better than ever.
- It’s okay to be confident and that confidence doesn’t automatically mean arrogance. This past summer, I was able to work for a small newspaper where I wrote a couple of feature and news articles. I didn’t expect any of them to get published because I was just an intern… except one of my works did get published. And then earlier this month, one of my posts was chosen to appear on Freshly Pressed, which is probably how a lot of you are now reading this. Needless to say, these two are extremely BIG things for me, not so much because I got to see my name on the paper or because I now have 200 more followers than I had when I first started, although those are pretty gratifying. It’s more of knowing I wrote something that’s worth being shared to people and that my words are able touch others – which is even more gratifying. I know now that I am capable of doing great things. We all are. And we shouldn’t be afraid to prove it.
- I’ve learned to accept and embrace the kind of friendship I have. For a long time, I wanted to have my own group of friends. I’ve never had one because for some reason, I chose friends who aren’t exactly good friends with each other. Three of my best friends haven’t even met each other yet and I’ve been friends with them for years. No kidding. In high school, a lot of people form cliques, right? I was never in one. I wasn’t a loner or anything. It’s just that I was the one who had friends from each circle but never really belonged in a specific one. Back then, it was because I didn’t really like the idea of hanging out with just one group of people and I really did like the friends I made, even if a few of them didn’t like each other. But when I got to college, I realized how nice it would be to have that one group you could always turn to. That bummed me out for awhile especially since my friends also had their own group of friends. Now that I’m in my final year, though, I realize how the kind of friendship I have is exactly the kind of friendship I need. The truth is no matter how much I want to have my own circle of friends, I like the friends I have now even more, even if they’re all separate, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- Sometimes, reality can be better than our dreams. I am a dreamer. I always was and always will be. I daydream a lot more than I actually talk. It’s one of my most favorite things to do. If I get bored in class, I don’t sleep. I let my mind wander off and allow my imagination to entertain me. But no matter how spectacular and wonderful the stories and scenarios that play out in my head are, they fall short of being as moving and inspiring as the serendipitous moments that life gives us every now and then. But I don’t mean we shouldn’t dream. Aerosmith got it right when they told us to dream on. I’m just saying we shouldn’t get stuck in it. A lot of people do, which is why a lot of people can’t seem to find contentment in life.
And the best one of them all:
- I’ve finally realized what my dreams are and I’m dedicating 2013 to my effort in making them come true. I want to see the world. I want to write something that has the power to move people or to make them think. I want to be a catalyst for change. I want to be able to give back to my parents for all the sacrifices they’ve made in order to give me the life I have now. And I want to become a better daughter, sister, friend, acquaintance, stranger, Christian, basically, a better person.
I’ve never truly thought of myself as a young adult until now. I didn’t just get older this year, I did a lot of growing up too. I plan to do a lot of that in the coming years – a lot of growing up with a lot of keeping the fun of being young. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the past, how inspired I am for the now and how eager I am for the future. Happy New Year, you wonderful human beings!