My heart is broken.
For the children and the teachers who did not deserve to die that way. For the children who witnessed the horrific nightmare. For the parents, siblings, relatives and friends of the victims. For America. For humanity, really.
I honestly don’t know what to say right now. I want so badly to fill this whole post with all kinds of expletives directed to the man, no, the boy who did this. I want so badly to succumb to the temptation to pour out hateful words to him, for killing those innocent kids and then killing himself to escape the result of his actions.
I may not and never will use a gun as a weapon, but I can most certainly do just as much damage to him with words. And I know it’s going to be such an easy thing to do and that most people won’t hate me for it.
But I also know that if I allowed myself to do that, hate will consume me and I refuse to let that happen.
There is already so much hate in this world, so so much hate, so much fear. The world leaves so much room for hatred and violence and prejudice to take place. And we usually don’t notice until something like this happens. And when it does, the world makes it so convenient and, more importantly, so acceptable for us to retaliate, to exact revenge and to inflict pain.
Please. Please. Choose not to.
When we open the door to let a small amount of hate come in, it’s going to bust the door wide open and drown everything that anchors humanity to our soul.
And I beg of you, we cannot let that happen. Not anymore.
The world is more than capable of causing indescribable pain and suffering. And I can’t tell you how much that scares me.
But I also know that we as human beings are also more than capable of something more powerful than pain, more prevailing than suffering.
While hate floods the room in our soul, hope is cowering in the corner. We have to find it. I know I’ve already said this before but this deserves to be told over and over again.
There is always hope. It is not enough to know that it’s there. We have to choose it. We have to choose hope.
I refuse to believe that the better days are behind us. I refuse to accept the notion that life cannot get any better. And I most certainly refuse to surrender my right, to myself as well as to humanity, to hope for the better and to act on that hope.
To those who have lost a loved one in the shooting and to those who survived it, you are all in my prayers.