Did you see that? Terrified. Past tense. I am finally done with all the requirements I need to accomplish for me to graduate. That said, I am now officially a bum and not unemployed because, technically, I haven’t graduated yet (that’s not ’til April). Anyway, in honor of my final days as a college student, here are the seven things that absolutely terrified me in college.
1. The hall of doom with the doors of death
Every time I walked the halls of my college, especially when classes have just ended and it’s crowded, I have this fear of one of the doors suddenly flying open and smashing me on the face. And that fear of mine isn’t just paranoia because that almost happened to me twice. Fortunately, I was able to block my face with my hand on both occasions. I can’t remember thanking God for giving me fast reflexes other than the two times I was this close to being knocked unconscious by these coma-inducing fixtures disguised as doors. Of course, I had a bruised hand afterward but I’d take that over a black eye/broken nose/bloody mouth any day.
2. The professors who, well, aren’t
You know, that invisible professor who never shows up, or that other professor who does show up but uses the whole period to talk about everything that isn’t related to the subject. With the first one, it didn’t start out as terrifying. Initially, I’d think it was pretty awesome not to have to sit in a class for an hour and a half every day. But as the end of the semester drew near, I realized I didn’t have a single clue on what to study for my finals exam – terrifying. With that other professor, she’d use up the whole period to talk about everything from the life story of her previous students to the professors she’s secretly pissed at – nothing about history, which is a big problem considering that’s what she’s supposed to be teaching. Having to sit through a lecture by a professor who seemed to be mad at the whole universe? Terrifyingly boring.
3. The magician professor
There are professors who, frankly, are just pure lazy. It’s obvious they only attend class because they’re paid to, not because they actually want to. Then there are some who don’t attend class at all, like the invisible professor. But those that do – they only lecture; they don’t teach. They don’t give papers, projects, homework or exams either, which kind of makes you wonder how they’re going to give you a grade. Now, there are professors who are this kind of a magician:
They are actually okay because professors who are like this know they’re lazy and know that the least they could do for their students is to give them a passing grade for their mediocre teaching. But then there are professors who are this kind of a magician:
These professors think they’re all high and mighty and, therefore, feel it’s necessary to give their students a low grade. These professors are the ones who want their students to have low grades because low grades mean their subject is difficult and their subject being difficult essentially means they’re geniuses for being able to teach it. But we all know that isn’t true, now, don’t we?
4. That other theology professor
We’ve all heard of stories about that one theology professor who’s an atheist and who challenges that one Christian student to prove God exists, right? Well, that’s not the theology professor I’m referring to. I studied in a Catholic university so it’s safe to say that there’s 0% chance of having an atheist professor. There is, however, a 90% chance of having a Catholic professor who has just about as much tolerance for other religions as a vegetarian has for hamburgers. Now that’s the professor I’m referring to. The first thing he did was ask if there were any non-Catholics in the class. And throughout the semester, he’d ramble on about the “faults” (I’d like to think of them more as misconceptions or frustrations) of other religions. Failing a class has never been more attainable to me than during the semester I had him as my professor. His exams were all essays about Catholic teachings and issues; but unlike how professors are supposed to check essay exams, he only looked for one right answer and gave either a perfect grade or a zero. And, well you see, I have this incurable belief that people have the capability to listen and consider reasons and opinions that are different to theirs as long as these are peacefully and respectfully explained to them. Basically, it means I had a lot of zeros.
5. Campaign period and the bone-crushing handshakes
There is nothing I dread more than entering the school building during campaign season, knowing there will be a whole bunch of candidates there like starving lions at lunch time… and I’m the lunch. Seriously though, I find it absolutely scary that people who I’ve never met or talked to before rush up to me and start introducing themselves and keep trying to shake my hand, and I’m like, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???? And when they do shake my hand, it’s like they think the harder they grip my hand, the more I will remember them, which is true, but not in a good way. That’s just me, though. I’ve never really understood politics.
One time, in my first year in college, I had to go to the restroom right in the middle of a lecture because I really needed to pee. So I went out, rushed to the nearest restroom, picked a stall and was about to do what I had to do when I heard some extremely awkward noises coming from the next stall. I wanted to get out of there but I couldn’t do it as quick as I wanted to for obvious reasons. So, yeah, to put it bluntly, I had to pee to the sound of that which should only be done in a locked room and, because of that traumatic incident, with preferably sound-proof walls.
7. The extremely high probability of me ending up with a lazy person/people as my partner/group members for a project
Ah, yes. Extremely high probability. This happened to me at least once in each of my five years in college. I’ve had to do reports, presentations and projects on my own because my group members were horribly lazy. I’m not the type of person who rats out other people no matter how badly I want to strangle them, so I put up with it. Some would argue that I basically gave those people an A when they deserved an F. That might be true. But, you know what, I got a high grade and I’m officially graduating so I’d say those nights were worth it. At least I got the grade I wanted and not the grades my lazy group members probably deserved.