Being stupid never hurt my ego this bad.
There’s no point in trying to sugarcoat this so I’ll just go ahead and say it.
I was robbed this past week. Twice. Just two days apart. By the same girl. Who I am currently tutoring. And who also happens to be six years old.
She only stole my pen and eraser BUT STILL. Six-year-olds aren’t supposed to steal. They’re supposed to tell you they like your things, then go home and tell their mommies and daddies to buy them the exact same thing. They say you’re ugly when they think you’re ugly, they pick their noses, they cry when you turn off the television and they can be extremely annoying on the plane but they. Don’t. Steal.
But as much as I find that disturbing, I’m more embarrassed and mortified by the fact that I was clueless during the first instance of thievery, and pathetically helpless during the second.
When she stole my pen, I really had no idea. I thought I just misplaced it like I sometimes do with my other things, but then she made the mistake of not leaving the pen at home that following day. I opened her pencil case and saw my pen inside with all her pencils. I asked her – without any hint of accusation – if the pen was mine and she said no, that it was her brother’s. Seriously, that girl said that without any hesitation or guilt or shame on her face. And my pen didn’t have my name on it because never in a million years would I think it would be stolen from me by a toddler, so I couldn’t just go up to her small pretty face and accuse her of stealing. Plus, I’m scared of her parents. So yeah, I lost that battle. But I went home that night promising to myself that I shall with the war.
The next day, I lost the war.
Already aware of her not-so innocence, I spent the whole hour holding my pen. I let the kids use my eraser since some of them didn’t bring any, but I figured she wouldn’t take that one since she already had a gazillion of them. Obviously, I was wrong. I took my eyes off my eraser for literally just ten seconds to help one of my students answer her homework and when I was done, it disappeared from the table. At that point, I didn’t even bother trying to make her feel like I wasn’t accusing her. I opened her pencil case to see if it was there, and it wasn’t. For a moment there, I thought I made a mistake, but when she stood up to gather her things and leave, I noticed a bulge in her pocket that had the same shape and size as my eraser.
I am so tempted to put memes here so that you can fully understand how – okay, I very rarely, if not never, use those acronym expressions but at the moment, I was totally like, “WTF, little girl?! I am helping you with your homework and you repay me by stealing my things? SMH. S my effin’ H.”
But I couldn’t stop her from leaving because what would I do then? Pat her down? I would just get sued or something for child harassment (I think). So, with a heavy heart and a bitter look on my face, I watched her leave with my eraser and go to her house where my pen probably is.
I am 22 years old. I graduated college with very satisfactory grades. I’m putting humility aside to say that I’ve also been Freshly Pressed (which, according to my standards, ranks higher than college… not sure if I’m kidding). But I couldn’t handle a confrontation with a six-year-old who stole my school supplies!
Please, by all means make fun of me. My family has. And I deserve it.