Last week, I finished reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and, if you read the blog I posted about it, you’d probably have a better understanding as to why a week has passed before I can finally write down my thoughts without becoming all too emotional about it.
I loved it. I am absolutely and completely in love with it. And I was and am still in awe of John Green for creating the character of Augustus Waters. I’ve loved many fictional characters in the past but Augustus Waters easily trumps them all because he is exactly my ideal guy. It sounds silly, I know, but when he told Hazel he’d write an epilogue for her, I just knew John Green had somehow managed to go into my daydreams and create Augustus out of them. Mr. John Green, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you.
What I love most about reading books is coming across beautiful lines and quotes. I always make it a habit to write down the ones that touch me (I’m too much of a neat-freak to highlight them) on my super special notebook. And now I find myself needing to share them with you.
“Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them,” I said.
Isaac shot me a look. “Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That’s what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” (p.60)
“Oh, my God,” Augustus said. “I can’t believe I have a crush on a girl with such cliche wishes.” (p,80)
It all felt Romantic, but not romantic. (p.95)
“Does he have ugly hands? Sometimes beautiful people have ugly hands.” (p. 95)
He laughed. “That’s why.”
“That’s why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival version of the word pedophile? You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.” (p. 123)
As he read, I fell in love with the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. (p. 125)
“I don’t want to have ‘breakfast for dinner,'” I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. “I want to have scramble eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled egg-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime.”
“You’ve gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel,” my mom said. “But if this is the issue you want to champion, we will stand behind you.”
“Quite a bit behind you,” my dad added, and Mom laughed. (p. 138)
The weird thing about houses is that they almost always look like nothing is happening inside of them, even though they contain most of our lives. I wondered if that was sort of the point of architecture. (p. 139)
“You’re arguing that the fragile, rare thing is beautiful simply because it is fragile and rare. But that’s a lie, and you know it.” (p. 145)
“I am,” he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.” (p. 153)
“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” (p. 157)
“Everyone wants to lead an extraordinary life.” (p. 169)
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“Me too,” he said.
“I don’t ever want to do that to you,” I told him.
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” (p. 176)
“Hey,” he said, touching my waist. “Hey, it’s okay.” I nodded and wiped my face with the back of my hand. “He sucks.” I nodded again. “I’ll write you an epilogue,” Gus said.
“Hazel Grace, when you’re as charming and physically attractive as myself, it’s easy enough to win over people you meet. But getting strangers to love you… now, that’s the trick.” (p. 235)
“Nostalgia is a side effect of cancer,” I told him.
“Nah, nostalgia is a side effect of dying,” he answered. Above us, the wind blew and the branching shadows rearranged themselves on our skin. Gus squeezed my hand. “It is a good life, Hazel Grace.”
“You say you’re not special because the world doesn’t know about you, but that’s an insult to me. I know about you.” (p. 240)
“Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because – like all real love stories – it will die with us, as it should.” (p. 259)
“But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.” (p. 260)
The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. (p. 262)
“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” (p. 286)
“The marks humans leave are too often scars.” (p. 311)
And the grandest of them all,
“I love her. I am so luck to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.” (p. 313)
I like to think John Green ended the novel with that last line meant to be addressed to us readers, because that book hurt me. And damn it, I like that I made that choice!
Basically, what I’m trying to say is this book broke my heart… in all the right ways.
** I’m guessing most of you who have clicked on this post have done so because of the film adaptation to be released later this year. After watching the trailer, I wrote about it here. Warning: I’m not jumping up and down. If you’re a die-hard fan of TFIOS the novel (like I am, honestly) and TFIOS the movie trailer, please do not kill me.